When You Are Brokenhearted, I Am Close To You
April 7
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.”
On the first night I attended an addiction recovery group in 2010, we ended our time together reading, “The HOPE.” It meant nothing to me. It was just a bunch of words on a page. However, over the next several years, as we regularly read “The HOPE,” the words slowly began to speak to me. I wondered what it would be like to experience what was written in “The HOPE.” In doing the eight “if” statements listed my life would experience the promises of transformation that followed. It took many years of reading those words and growing in my recovery before those words became something I longed to experience in my life. I wanted transformation. I wanted to be a different person. I wanted to live a life free from addiction and the promises that held.
The first of the “if” statements in “The HOPE” reads “If we are truly humble and broken…” I avoided humility and brokenness for many years in my addiction. The belief that I had the addiction under control and could stop if I wanted to was front and center in my life. As long as no one else knew, no one would get hurt. I told myself many lies and continued living a double life. I was not going to be broken or humbled. That was only for people who didn’t have it together and couldn’t control their lives. That was for people who were weak and couldn’t manage the addiction. I trudged on for many years with that mentality while hoping things would somehow be different. For two and half years after my world imploded and life changed dramatically, I continued in the addiction still believing I could handle it, and worked hard to avoid being humbled and broken. Finally, after nearly four decades of trying to do it alone, I reached “rock bottom” - humbled and broken - and surrendered it all to God one evening in August 2020.
I felt God’s presence in an incredible way that evening. It was in my brokenness and humility that I came to Him seeking a different life trusting that He was going to be all He says He is. It has been in that brokenness and humility that I have come to experience God in a new way. He was close to me that night and has continued leading and guiding me. It was in my humility and brokenness that God stepped in, and I am now witnessing His incredible faithfulness. God’s loving care is for those who are humble and broken. He binds up their wounds. He comforts them as a father comforts his children. Psalm 91:4 paints a beautiful picture of God’s loving care. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” What a loving and caring Father who longs to comfort and protect those who are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. I’m grateful to experience my Father’s love and comfort. The humility and brokenness I felt that night have been a tremendous blessing.